This post will be brief but potent. I’m wondering how many of you might have a Dramarriage or know of or have ever been Dramarried? Through the course of this work as a psychic medium and intuitive life coach, I’ve seen many people living through their dramarriage happily ever after but sometimes after a while, one of the partners wants to find out how to get out of it!
1. a recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship (historically and in some jurisdictions specifically a union between a man and a woman, but not necessarily so) whose main bonding characteristic is a shared or cross-over of dramas in their lives. “a happy dramarriage”
Ex. A relationship were it is not love that brings these two together but their respective and harmonious dramas bring them together. For example, ones suicidal tendencies cause the other’s rescuer tendencies to become activated and vice versa. Another example is where a masochist finds comfort in someone else, a sadist, willing to hurt them repeatedly. Or where a codependent is joined with a narcissist.
Speaking with a friend (Larry) this morning who is recently out of a long term relationship, trying to rebuild their life in their newfound identity as a single person, they were sharing about how they have opened up to a loving relationship with another long-term friend (Olivia). Apparently these two have had an attraction, both physical and emotional, since they first met while Paul was still married. Only having acted on this attraction a couple of times during Larry’s marriage, Olivia felt free to now explore a potential romantic relationship. Through a series of circumstances, Larry and Olivia are now living together, just 2 months after Larry’s marriage ended. Too soon maybe, incredible possibly, and set up to fail likely, but maybe not.
Apparently Olivia has always been a depressed and suicidal person but no one would really know that if you saw her presence online. She seems put together, attractive, successful in business and surrounded by friends at all times, however this all hides a darkness within. Larry, has always had severe abandonment issues and has stuck with clearly dysfunctional relationships in his past for fear of being alone in the world. Having spent years leaning on one another and now living together, Larry and Olivia seem to be creating a dramarriage. A newfound relationship where their dramas complement one another’s and seems to engage their emotions and as such, has made each more sexually attractive to the other. Their need to be there for one another is creating a strong gravity between them that its getting tough to even think about separating even though that is likely healthiest for both.
I told Larry that this is much too heavy to just consult with friends around, that he and Olivia NEED professional help because this doesn’t sound like it will end well. Hopefully he takes my advice and they both get help. Have you ever known anyone in a Dramarriage or currently Dramarried? I’m curious about what ever came of those relationships? Did they evolve out of a dramarriage into one based in love or another form of commitment?
Of course I can peek into their futures to see how this story will play out but I have a sense they will both make it out of this better people than they feel they are now. On a serious note however, suicide or thoughts of suicide are no laughing matter. If you or anyone you know needs serious help around this then please reach out to someone like at this National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
Feel free to share in the comments below and blessings to you for your vulnerability!