I was having a conversation the other day where I shared how it does seem like our new normal is to be in this constant state of anxiety, stress and even fear. I see it and hear about it from my clients everyday. However, this isn’t the case for me. Some clients come to me just because of this and to then help them deal with their issues and problems. So my final answer now is, No being plagued by anxiety and fear doesn’t have to be your everyday reality.
First though, let go of any shame or guilt for having been plagued by these for however long they’ve haunted you. Be gentle with yourself as you explore a new way of being, thinking, feeling and reacting!
Now let’s step back a little and reveal what anxiety and fear actually are! I’ve found that fears and anxiety are just messengers, like an invisible ambulance with loud sirens and bright lights. The point of them is not to take them at face value but to examine what message they’re carrying. So, for you to get a better handle on your fears and anxieties you’ve got to slip into detective mode and investigate.
Also, here’s some truth about the Universe (aka The Bitchy Genie) – it really wants you to have the best experience of your whole self in this life for you, it communicates with you at all times whether you notice the communications or not, it never gives you more than you can handle, and the answers are already within you. Sure, these might be a bunch of feel good words/phrases but they’re true. I’ve helped dozens of clients get to a healthier place even with lifelong depression and anxiety issues. What you might be curious about now is, if the Universe does want the good for me, why does it keep handing me so much $#!%?
Simple answer is that when you’ve been handed the $#!% you’ve actually been given opportunities for you to choose better than you have previously; especially if how you’ve reacted previously left you feeling not-so-good. In this world, the only four things you have absolute control over are your thoughts, your feelings, your words and your actions (barring any kind of exceptional pathology or disability of course). And because of this, what you feel after the $#!% is all you.
OK so that’s all well and good, but I still have these fears and anxieties, you might be thinking. Sure, so let’s get to them. If how they were appearing to you was just “the envelope” and you’ve been reacting to “the envelope” by either feeling paralyzed or freaked out or overwhelmed or scattered or _____ (fill in the blank with what you experience that’s not of the good), then you have to start opening “the envelope” to see what’s inside! For example, all fears and anxieties actually have a positive purpose, they begin as a positive intention within your consciousness and then they get dark & twisty until they end up freaking you out. All fears and anxieties want you to do one or more of these six things. To be or to be more:
That’s all the fears and anxieties want of you; that’s it! Your job for when you feel that familiar grip of a fear or the twinge of anxiety, and even the weight of depression, is to figure out which of these six things you need to focus on. Once you figure it out, you can then take action and when you then take action, guess what happens? Your feelings step back in line and you feel more in control, maybe even more calm and peaceful.
All these years you’ve been freaking out, sometimes even to the point of panic and what the Universe wanted for you most of all is to increase your level of self control and self discipline around your thoughts and emotions!
How about that? Ready to tackle your specific fears and anxieties? Feel free to reach out if you want some assistance but, being completely honest, it’ll take practice to master this. And the mastering of this is so worthwhile.
As always my dears, all my love and blessings to you all,