Super healthy and very often, completely necessary…for your and their growth!
I come from the perspective of Universal Integrity, where being true to yourself consistently leads to you aligning more profoundly with the Universe. And when you align with the Universe, staying in Integrity, life becomes clearer, easier and more fulfilling! So hear what I share here with this in mind.
At this very moment there are many versions of you and for simplicity’s sake, imagine them as all your different ages, that’s a lot right? We are not going to get into parallel realities though, but you can imagine that’s a whole lot more. So just as there are all these versions of you, there are also this many versions of that person you have a relationship with but with whom things have gotten toxic. They might be a parent, another family member, a long time friend, a lover or even a co-worker.
Regardless of the relationship, you have the absolute right, no matter how hard it feels, to say goodbye and let them go with love. You can let them go with anger or bitterness or anything not-love, to add a little spice to that wound, but that’ll just make it harder for you. So I recommend letting them go with love. Feel free to cut them off completely too – no texts, no emails, no letters, no social media stalking, no driving by their workplace, none of that. They get no more of you, especially in your mind and if you can do it, your heart as well.
Here’s what your doing from a Universal perspective…you are literally saying that you are releasing this version of them right here, right now that’s been caught in this painful dance with you. You are stopping yourself from seeing them as stubborn, hurtful, immature, hateful, pitiful, sorry, bitter, foolish, angry, lost, etc. (please add your own characterizations here for your exact situation) and no longer fixing them in this picture or form that you’ve had them in because you are opening up to being surprised by another more evolved version of them. This new version of them, you don’t know yet, but you are trusting that a more loving, kind, compassionate, caring, romantic, responsible, stronger, resilient, etc. them can actually exist. Plus, you are trusting that the Universe will help them find their way!
This also means that you are fully accepting and integrating the version of you that was ‘dancing’ with them in that familiar yet painful and limiting dance, and that you are trusting the Universe to help you grow. Now you have to grow, to do your own work and become a better you because that better you must resonate with that better them if you would like to share more time with them in your respective futures. Now here’s the kicker that the Universe, aka The Bitchy Genie, lines out in the illegible small print that dots the bottom of the contract leading to this life. That the more evolved version of them, may be in the form of someone else.
Yes, you may never get that person back, even in their more evolved form, but the time spent with them was supposed to prepare you for the relationship you’re meant to have with a more evolved version of them (who may be in a different form, i.e., another person, or another life entirely). But, as is always the case when you choose to play the Bigger Game of Universal Integrity, you have to trust that the Universe is guiding you, equipping you, introducing you, and fortifying you for the life you’re meant to enjoy.
Having said all that, notice what you’re feeling inside at this moment. If you’re ready to close that door, you’ll know it. But if you’re not ready to, then there may be more for you here with them, however, it may be more pain and heartache and unsatisfied wantings (just a warning, but you already knew this). Trust yourself. That’s the point here; to trust yourself. You do you. Don’t follow anyone’s guidance unless it resonates with you and at all times, look out for yourself, harm no one and do good in the world.
As always, all my love and blessings to you,