There are few feelings worse than heartbreak like when love isn’t returned when you thought it would be. However, what if you didn’t misread the signals? What if you didn’t rose color your expectations? What if the person you were doing the relationship dance with, was actually a really great trickster?
If you’ve never been bamboozled in love then consider yourself lucky, but if you have then you know how rough the healing from it can be. And that’s only after you realize that what felt real to you, wasn’t ever actually real to anyone but you. I’m talking about narcissists and other almost sociopaths who can’t seem to love in a healthy way, but yet the way they loved you had you tasting a love that seemed too delicious to be real!
I’m not going to dive into the dynamics between narcissists, codependents and empaths, even though that would be a super rich set of topics. Instead, I was to speak generally about what to do when the love you’re in is turning you into a person that you can’t even recognize anymore – you’re paranoid, you’ve been gaslighted and feeling bad about it, you’re tasting depression or uncharacteristic anxiety, and you have no idea where you stand with your paramour. Its uncomfortable when love doesn’t feel like how love should feel.
Sure, love feels different for all of us and we all must negotiate the dance of love – needs being met, sex and affection, intimacy and closeness, and the minefield of trust and baggage – but generally speaking, love will leave you feeling energized, hopeful, connected, kind, happy, and other positive emotions. If its not, then you’ve got to take a moment and be honest about what you have on your hands. Here’s a tip though, if you don’t feel you can trust the person you’re with, with your car, then don’t trust them with your heart!
Next, I’ll share with you some ideas about how to deal with a headtrippy relationship than just letting it eat away at you or to have it feel like a troublesome part of your life instead of a nourishing and enlivening part of your life.
So what do you have on your hands at the moment? A loving relationship or a loveish mixed bag? Love and blessings to you,